


Having a big cock and not fucking anyone with it is rude, and you know what happens to rude people.

by KayleighMcCamyo



Series: Groupchats of One Direction and 5 Seconds of Summer [15]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer, One Direction
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Fisting, Anal Sex, Cake, Cashton, Crack, Crazy, Daddy Kink, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Gay Sex, Humor, I hope, M/M, Muke - Freeform, Multi, OT4, OT5, Orgy, Sarcasm, Sexting, Swearing, The last one, Threesome - M/M/M, Trash Talk, crackfic, dirty talking, everybody hates this band, groucpahts, larry - Freeform, stupid, texts, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 19:50:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4933033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayleighMcCamyo/pseuds/KayleighMcCamyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis: I think Luke just came.</p><p>Calum: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T TALK ABTOU THIS</p><p>Harry: Michaels dick game strong af</p><p>Calum: LITERALLY NO OK U KNOW YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT THIS</p><p>Calum: IT STRESSES LIAM</p><p>Liam: AND CALUM</p>
            </blockquote>





	Having a big cock and not fucking anyone with it is rude, and you know what happens to rude people.

**Michael** : WALK INTO DA CLUB LIKE WHAZAP IVE GOT A BIG COCK

 **Luke** : it doesn't count if half of it is your personality

 **Ash** : wow

 **Michael** : I-

 **Zayn** : that was so rude

 **Louis** : I am so proud

 **Michael** : Louis the fuck

 **Michael** : i thought we are bros

 **Zayn** : our lovechild.

 **Louis** : Fuck michael.

 **Zayn** : right

 **Michael** : weLL e SXCUSE YOU?!?!

 **Zayn** : he doesn't even know proper grammar

 **Michael** : fuIKCIGN HELL MALIK LITERALLY

 **Louis** : he also haven't fucked me in like two day

 **Zayn** : how rude

 **Michael** : TOMLidNONO FFVUNNG HELL LITERALLY STHUT UP ILL FUCK BTHO OF YOUR NOSTRIL SSO DEEPLY U GONNA FEEL IT IN UR BRAIN

 **Louis** : he's so rude

 **Ash** : this is fuckign golden

 **Liam** : michael pls stop

 **Calum** : i am having so much fun in this conversation

 **Harry** : i ship zouis so much

 **Niall** : my OTP…

 **Calum** : No that I care or know much about this, but doesn't OTP mean one true pairing, which means you can't have Zayn and louis and Zayn and liam and Zayn as OTP’s?

 **Niall** : MY O  T     P      !!!!!!!!

 **Liam** : Cal don't fuck with niall’s OTPs.

 **Zayn** : he takes otps very seriously.

 **Liam** : also tumblr.

 **Zayn** : he takes tumblr very seriously.

 **Calum** : my dick is disturbed.

 **Ash** : your dick has more feelings than you?

 **Calum** : and is emotionally stable.

 **Zayn** : he takes  your dick very seriously, too.

 **Calum** : DOE S HE?!?!?!

 **Liam** : oh dear please no.

 **Niall** : all of your dicks are important to me.

 **Calum** : NIALL YOU ARE SO SWEET I LOVE YOU

 **Niall** : Mainly those I can watch while they are fucking someone’s hole.

 **Calum** : Niall ---

 **Calum** : Niall the fuck i trusted you

 **Calum** : Now liam is stressed

 **Liam** :  oh d EA RGOD PLEAE S ENO!!!

 **Harry** : I am dick deep in Louis‘ ass, if you are interested, Ni.

 

**Niall has left the conversation.**

**Luke** : …that was quick.

 **Ash** : this is golden

 **Michael** : he didn't  even wait for the instruction of where you are.

 **Calum** : please no i am not ready for your dirty bum things

 **Ash** : I am so ready for your dirty bum things

 **Zayn** : sorry, cal

 **Liam** : me neither cal

 **Zayn** : sorry, liam

 **Louis** : He's in my ass, Niall just knows where to find us.

 **Michael** : he’s got the right kind of 6th sense, then.

 **Ash** : now im jealous.

 **Ash** : you think he can teach me

 **Calum** : oh dear god please no i can't take Zayn, luke, niall and you ash

 **Liam** : ash please no

 **Harry** : why are you apologizing, Zee?

 **Zayn** : calum and liam walked in on me while i was having a wank earlier…

 **Calum** : NO, NO WE FUCKIGN DIDN'T  AC CI DE N TLAY  WAKL ON YOU ASSHOLE YOU WERE IN OUR ROOM, WAITING

 

 **Michael** : Oh fuck Calum I’m already palming myself

 **Calum** : SLOWLY WANKING HIMSELF OFF IN    M Y   B ED  while  WEARING YOUR SPECIAL BLACK LACE LINGERIE FOR LADIES

 **Harry** : oh my fuckign god

 **Liam** : no

 **Louis** : You called, harry? 

 **Calum** : NO

 **Ash** : yas, calum talk dirty to us

 **Liam** : please don't tell us anything i had to take care of Zayn

 **Calum** : I'm moving the fuck out.

 **Liam** : please no oh my fuckign god

 **Harry** : you cant, until you tell us more

 **Louis** : yeah, cal, cmon, mate

 **Ash** : how can you fuck and read this at the same time

 **Louis** : multitasking

 **Louis** : which leads me to conclusion muke aren that good in multitasking.

 **Harry** : yeah righ. You hear that? They are louder than us.

 **Niall** : IZTRESDFGHJKLKSDFGHJKLKJHGFDSDFGHJ

 **Calum** : Where did you come from I thought you left

 **Zayn** : He always comes back when he senses the gay in general. 

 **Ash** : calm down love i am taping it don't worry have your larry

 **Louis** : ahhhh, ash you are the best !

 **Niall** : ASDFGHJKSDFGHJKLASDFGHJKLŮASDFGHJKLASDFGHJKSDFGHJKLŮASDFGHJKLŮ

 **Calum** : ….is the kid arright

 **Ash** : well

 **Ash** : I mean

 **Ash** : it's niall u know.

 **Ash** : he kinda… is never alright.

 **Liam** : my baby. But tru.

 **Louis** : daddy.

 **Harry** : oh fuck im about to cum

 **Calum** : NO OMG NO STOP D O tN!!!

 **Niall** : SDAHGÁÝČTU GBRKJFN VJNFJNIOŠČ HPGHEIOICE ÚŠČ§PGRIE OUGPQ ÍÁRZPÍGÁZF HEID KA §)Q=U ŠČÚOVN IW RPUGHP ERHVPRHG NVRE sertuzgbjitxcGVUBNIHGUC GUHIUIZ TDTFZG ZUIZ TF ZGZ  XER FGHUIÁÉGZ DF ÍÍUÉÍÁFDR ŘES RDGUHUI UTSEUIHOUÁ TŽ RESAW SDFTÝZGIBJN

 **Liam** : STYLES LITERALLY STYLES NOONE FUCKIGN CARES!!!

 **Zayn** : Go for it, love. I’m waiting for you.

 **Louis** : I think Luke just came.

 **Calum** : SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T TALK ABTOU THIS

 **Harry** : Michaels dick game strong af

 **Calum** : LITERALLY NO OK u KNOW YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT THIS

 **Calum** : IT STRESSES LIAM

 **Liam** : AND CALUM

 **Zayn** : C’mon, Harry, slam deep in Louis for m, will you?

 **Zayn** : ash, help me

 **Liam** : ash please no

 **Niall** : asH PLEAES Y ESSSS

 **Ash** : Grip Louis‘ ass, love. Slap it, too. He loves that

 **Liam** : is this a real life

 **Zayn** : moan his name, louis.

 **Calum** : is this a fantasy

 **Ash** : listen to michaels noises, he makes them so good, when he's about to cum.

 **Liam** : caught in a landslide

 **Zayn** : be a good boy, Harry, slap your princess‘ bum again.

 **Calum** : no escape from reality

 **Ash** : fuck, their noises are killin gme rn

 **Liam** : open your eyes

 **Zayn** : you jerking off?

 **Calum** : look up to the sky and see…

 **Ash** : im fingering myself                  

 **Zayn** : fuck, im coming to your room. It's my turn to top.

 

**Zayn has left the conversation.**

**Ash has left the conversation.**

 

 **Liam** : I'm JUST A POOR BOY

 **Calum** : I NEED A LOT OF SYMPATHY

 **Liam** : Literally those noises are inhuman

 **Calum** : I am leaving.

 **Luke** : sorry we were orgasming. what did we miss?

 **Liam** : bohemian rhapsody

 **Cal** : also larry got off on you.

 **Michael** : you serious? We seriously brought the husbands to orgasm?

 **Liam** : not yet.

 **Calum** : Ash and zee tried to text them dirtily, but they are fucking next door by now.

 **Luke** : alot of fucking i see.

 **Liam** : im leaving.

 **Michael** : im moving in.

 **Luke** : WAIT.  WAIT DOES THAT MEAN THERE IS ZAYN AND ASH FUCKIGN NEXT DOOR?!?!?!

 **Michael** : I'm MOVING IN!!!!

 

**Luke has left the conversation.**

**Michael has left the conversation.**

 

 

 **Liam** : So we have larry, Zayn and ash, AND Luke and mikey fucking over each other.

 **Calum** : they are talking about fisting.

 **Calum** : why are they talking about fisting.

 **Calum** : why the fuck are they Talking aboUt fiST IGN!?!?!?

 **Liam** : I know, it's Zayn's kink.

 **Calum** : I- ….

 **Liam** : It's Louis kink, too.

 **Calum** : I-

 **Calum** : I'm leaving. I am literally leaving.

 **Liam** : you are dying to go and have a look, and maybe a wank over them, don't you.

 **Calum** : …

 **Liam** : oh dear god.

 **Calum** : but like. Mikey and Zayn. Fucking. 

 **Liam** : fuck.

 **Liam** : you’re right.

 

**Liam has left the conversation.**

**Calum has left the conversation.**

 

 **Niall** : THIS WAS THE BEST ORGASM I ahv eEVRE HAD?!?!?!

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: punk-cocks


End file.
